adney
New Member
Posts: 8 
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Post by adney on Sept 29, 2017 12:22:13 GMT
Hello everyone, for all of us family is the most important factor in one’s life. Family helps you and protects you, no matter what. The family is the one who is always available for you at your one call. Everybody in this world is incomplete without a family. Just like everyone, I also want to have a family. However, the problem is that I cannot start my family with my husband because I am not physically fit it. I am a fertile person. I am suffering from a heart ailment that has restricted me in becoming a mother. After my marriage, my husband found out about my disease. I thought that this disease would create problems with us. Nevertheless, my husband’s reaction was totally opposite as per my expectations. He supported me a lot. He told me that he would love me the same way he already does. My disease will not affect our relationship at all. His support was one of the main sources of my courageous attitude.
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Norma
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by Norma on Sept 29, 2017 14:27:06 GMT
Hello adney! It is very heartbreaking to know about your heart disease and you cannot have a baby because of it. It might be very difficult to face this problem. I am also very happy for you that your husband is very caring and loving to you. His support is everything that you need in this situation. Many females are facing such problems. I also want to have a complete family by having my own baby but I also have a heart disease that is known as mitral stenosis. This disease is preventing me to have my own baby with my husband. I really get depressed at many occasions because of this. I also feel very bad when I see other people enjoying with their families. I wanted to have a baby in this condition but the doctor told that it can be at my life's stake. My husband refused to try for a baby in such a situation. Me and my husband also found about my disease after our marriage. We both were really upset. I also thought that my husband and me will not be able to carry on our relationship but the result was totally opposite. My husband came to me and he told me that no matter what he will keep on loving me the way he does now. I feel relaxed and encouraged after I have read your post, that there are also other people who are facing this problem with strength. I hope every other women gets such a life partner to make her feel good in such a harsh situation. I hope you also carry on with a happy life.
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Post by emmaspencer2419 on Sept 29, 2017 21:24:58 GMT
No doubt in time of need like this if you have your husband support then you have what all you need. When my sister got married she had her first baby in same year. It was all very exciting everyone was happy. It seems very fulfilling. Sudden urge of having a baby almost drove me crazy. But still I planned to first settle myself then to go for it. After few years when I got married. We were ready to have baby I was 35 then. We start trying but couldn’t conceive. Without wasting any time, I visited doctor. She biopsy me and results in uterus thin lining. It was completely treatable so I was satisfied. But even though after having all the treatments nothing worked. I am 44 now and all these years were soul-crushing. I almost lost hope to live. But my husband supported me and convince to consider other options.
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Post by selinadylan247 on Sept 30, 2017 14:04:09 GMT
Hello Adney. I am very sorry to know about your condition. This is truly painful. I know you are overwhelmed with emotion right now. But I request you to kindly think in a practical manner. Is your heart disease treatable? If it is then you should try to get it treated first and then have a baby. You are still a better case than infertile women like myself. At least you are capable of having a baby. I have been infertile for more than 12 years and I have been going from one fertility clinic to the other in search of a cure. And yes, nothing is more important than your own well being. Not even having a child. Have patience and seek a treatment for your heart disease. Pray as much as possible. You need the almighty's help in such a devastating matter. And you are not incomplete or incompetent. You are a wonderful girl. Don't you ever forget that.
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Post by isabel on Sept 30, 2017 16:06:17 GMT
Hello Adney! Hope you doing well. I am sorry to know about your heart disease. I also don't have kids and understand your feelings. Be grateful that you have loving husband. Me and my husband also love children and trying for five years. This year I had miscarriage due to incompetent cervix. The loss of my child was really heartbreaking. I had many sleepless nights and stopped eating well. My husband helped me to console. I heard about surrogacy from some of my friends. This seemed to me a good option and feel hopeful about it. Me and my husband are searching for appropriate doctor and surrogate. You can also opt for surrogacy for children. Planning for child with heart disease might be risky for you. It might put your life in danger. Wish you all the best.
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Post by natashadane on Sept 30, 2017 23:21:45 GMT
hello adney, your words seems like its me speaking on the other side, your completely right that a family is the one which is always there for you, it fulfills you, but you do have a caring and loving husband, and he is by your side, you're even blessed to be fertile person. But since your health cannot allow it , you should wait until you fight with your health issues, and if the doctor says that its difficult for you to get pregnant for a along time, then you can think of other options, this emotional turmoil will be very upsetting you, i can understand, since im deprived of children myself, i can understand your concerns too, but i have heard people who have heart ailment they do get cured, and have had successful pregnancy, i hope you start your family soon,
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Post by shweta118 on Oct 1, 2017 6:30:22 GMT
Hi dear. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. I think you should turn to surrogacy. I think that it's not a problem to go abroad if surrogacy is illegal in your country. Speaking about agencies, you should be very careful. There are many scammers among them. If you decide to turn to this option pay attention to every single detail not to face a fraud. Also, remember that agencies take the fee for their services. I would advise you not to look for a surrogate mother on the internet. This idea is not good at all. I understand you want to save some money, but choosing this way you may only lose your money. There are dozens of stories about women who pretend to be a surrogate mother, but they just take the money and disappear. You may scroll this forum and you'll see how many girls regret their decision to find surrogate mother by their own. Sometimes even lawyers can't help much in such situations. First of all pay attention to surrogacy laws. Some countries allow surrogacy, but surrogate mothers are considered as biological mothers of babies they carry. So you'll have to pass through the adoption process. There is a small risk that surrogate mother may decide to leave a baby. So be careful! I would advise you to look for a clinic. There are many clinics of reproductive medicine. They control the whole process and they will find a surrogate mother for you. There are many specific websites where you can find a list of such clinics, their location, success rates, reviews, etc. Our main criteria were affordable price and high success rates. According to that, we found BioTexCom clinic in Ukraine which is very good with a high success rate. I hope my answer will be helpful to someone. Best of luck to all the upcoming mothers on their motherhood.
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adney
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by adney on Oct 1, 2017 9:51:11 GMT
Hello, Selinadylan, yes I am going through a very painful condition. It is too upsetting for me because I cannot be a mother. I am a fertile person. I do not have any kind of disabilities in my reproductive system. The only reason I cannot become a mother is just that of my heart disease. Yes, my disease can be treated. I am consulting cardiologist for the cure of my heart disease. I would not have lost hope. But last year my condition got worse. I had to stay in a hospital for a week because my heart was not working properly. My husband became more conscious about my health. I am worried about my health. I still want to try for a baby even when I know it can be dangerous for me. I am not being impractical. The reason I want to try for a baby is that I am afraid and worried. I am afraid that my husband might leave me. I am unable to make him a father. He might get attracted Although he has been very supportive throughout my this journey you never know what happens next.
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Norma
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by Norma on Oct 1, 2017 15:09:29 GMT
Hello Adney! It is great to see that a lot of people have replied to your post. It feels better to share your emotions and feelings with others and they reply you with theirs. Still it does not feel good when we come to know that how upset are others but one can do nothing in such a situation. Although we cannot come out of this completely but it gives a sense of relaxation. As you have told in a reply that you are totally okay regarding your fertility system but the heart disease is the reason. I wanted to tell you that I am also fertile but my heart disease also does not let me to have a baby. Yes, it is so heart breaking to think when you have the capabilities of doing something but some other reason stops you from doing so. Same has happened in our cases. Every one wants to have a complete and happy family. As I love babies a lot and want to have my own children, I have not lost hope. I keep on going to health centers for my checkup and treatment. At the moment I am also not feeling well and trying to be healthy again. I hope that one day I will over come all these problems and live a happy life with my family. I feel really happy to know that you also have not lost hope and you are trying for every possible cure. Take care and stay healthy.  |
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eve
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by eve on Oct 1, 2017 18:15:30 GMT
Hey Adney, I know that how do we feel about this. I have suffered through this for for 10 years . I got married early though at the age of 25. Me and my partner both were apparently healthy. I got very frustrated because there was no visible symptom which was preventing me to be pregnant. Once we went to different doctor other than our gynae , after conducting various tests it came to our knowledge that my husband has varicoceles - it is a disease which hinders in sperm production . We both were seriously depressed to know about the infertility issue . My husband was very upset to know that because of him we cannot have a family. He would blame himself for everything . We went to our doctor who diagnosed this and he recommended us surrogacy . Our doctor was kind enough to make arrangements for us in a infertility institution. The staff there was very cooperative , we were explained everything about invitro fertilization. We even met with sperm donor . And now I am 5 months pregnant . Sometimes it feels like a miracle . I hope you also get to feel this . Why don't you ask your consultant about surrogacy?
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eve
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by eve on Oct 2, 2017 2:04:07 GMT
Hi dear. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. I think you should turn to surrogacy. I think that it's not a problem to go abroad if surrogacy is illegal in your country. Speaking about agencies, you should be very careful. There are many scammers among them. If you decide to turn to this option pay attention to every single detail not to face a fraud. Also, remember that agencies take the fee for their services. I would advise you not to look for a surrogate mother on the internet. This idea is not good at all. I understand you want to save some money, but choosing this way you may only lose your money. There are dozens of stories about women who pretend to be a surrogate mother, but they just take the money and disappear. You may scroll this forum and you'll see how many girls regret their decision to find surrogate mother by their own. Sometimes even lawyers can't help much in such situations. First of all pay attention to surrogacy laws. Some countries allow surrogacy, but surrogate mothers are considered as biological mothers of babies they carry. So you'll have to pass through the adoption process. There is a small risk that surrogate mother may decide to leave a baby. So be careful! I would advise you to look for a clinic. There are many clinics of reproductive medicine. They control the whole process and they will find a surrogate mother for you. There are many specific websites where you can find a list of such clinics, their location, success rates, reviews, etc. Our main criteria were affordable price and high success rates. According to that, we found BioTexCom clinic in Ukraine which is very good with a high success rate. I hope my answer will be helpful to someone. Best of luck to all the upcoming mothers on their motherhood. Wow shweta you have been so helpful. It is wonderful to have a platform where we can share our problems with eachother.And get second opinions and suggestions .Even I second to your advice of not looking for surrogates online as it can be very dangerous. The best thing is to trust the hospital where you are getting surrogacy done. They find you best surrogate. Not only they are professional but also very cooperative .Secondly with hospital you get done with legal formalities quickly. These clinics are well aware of laws prevailing in the jurisdiction and their professional assistance helps us alot. I hope adney and our other fellow members find it beneficial as you have explained in quite detailed way. |
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Post by isabel on Oct 2, 2017 21:22:50 GMT
Hello again Adney! You might be going through painful condition. But its good that your heart disease can be cured. Don't be upset and worried. There are options available for becoming mother. It's normal to feel worried but don't let it overpower you. Be positive and strong. Did you think about surrogacy option? Have you discussed with your husband yet? If not I would suggest you to discuss with your husband. Hope you become successful in fulfilling wish of becoming mother. My prayers are with you. Take care!
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liz
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by liz on Oct 2, 2017 23:15:40 GMT
Hey Adney and others ,
Hope everyone is good . We people are here because most probably we are going through infertility or have been victim to it . one thing is for sure that we are strong women who didn't giveup. I had gone through it but now I have a 3 years old cute baby. I guess that everything in life is teaching us. My inconception taught me to find for solution. I am from a close knitted family and had always dreamt of a simple cosy life . But it had been hell of rollercoaster after this news. I have fanatically searched options to have my own kids . I knew adoption was option but I wanted one of our own. My husband and I had been together since highschool . so I guess he proved his love bearing up with my craziness. LOL. but well I did research and in the end chose surrogacy because atleast I could have our kid through it. I guess it's the best of other options to have our baby .
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liz
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by liz on Oct 2, 2017 23:27:11 GMT
Hello Adney! It is great to see that a lot of people have replied to your post. It feels better to share your emotions and feelings with others and they reply you with theirs. Still it does not feel good when we come to know that how upset are others but one can do nothing in such a situation. Although we cannot come out of this completely but it gives a sense of relaxation. As you have told in a reply that you are totally okay regarding your fertility system but the heart disease is the reason. I wanted to tell you that I am also fertile but my heart disease also does not let me to have a baby. Yes, it is so heart breaking to think when you have the capabilities of doing something but some other reason stops you from doing so. Same has happened in our cases. Every one wants to have a complete and happy family. As I love babies a lot and want to have my own children, I have not lost hope. I keep on going to health centers for my checkup and treatment. At the moment I am also not feeling well and trying to be healthy again. I hope that one day I will over come all these problems and live a happy life with my family. I feel really happy to know that you also have not lost hope and you are trying for every possible cure. Take care and stay healthy. Jasmine you should search on internet about surrogacy . It was really convinient option for me . My daughter is healthy thankGod. We never encounter any difficulty as yet . She is 3 now . You will definitely have family .But as you mentioned you are not healthy atm. So first work on that because if you'll be in poor state , your children will definitely suffer too. After that take an appointment with fertility centers. These centers have the responsibility of newborn and obviously they make sure that parents will be able to look after kids well . It feels you are resilient like me and I love that ! Keep it up! |
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eve
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by eve on Oct 3, 2017 0:43:28 GMT
Thanks for writing your experience Liz . It feels so good and relaxing to have a successful case amongst us. As I am going through it. Adney, Jasmine , Ema look we have another story. Now you people should dig in this matter . surrogacy has helped so many couples families. Liz your story is really inspiring I must say. The way you have dealt with circumstances is just beyond our imaginations . May we all become strong like you.
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