one week before we have our first baby. surrogacy experience

Hello to everyone! During all my journey I wasn’t ready to share details. I felt unconfident and afraid because of some reasons.
I was afraid my mistakes could guide someone into wrong direction. It’ll cause problems for some one. I didn’t want to spoil someone’s journey.
My confidence was really poor. I was considering my experience as something wrong and full of negative moments. Now I know there’s no wrong experience at all.
It’s that what makes our life fuller. After many years of TTC I can analyze many things in the other way. My awareness became larger.
I’m actually newbie here. As a reader I know this forum since September 2016, maybe… I visited a couple of times per month.
I never posted. In fact, I posted nowhere. As I explained I didn’t want to give wrong advice.
As no one knows I am going to tell about my millstones briefly. More than 2 years ago I signed up with one Ukrainian clinic. It was actually an agency.
Now it doesn’t exist. We can’t even find their website. They had just disappeared.
Perhaps their main office announced they were bankrupts. It hasn’t become such a big bad news for me and my husband. We broke up our relations with them before it.
We noticed many violations. There were breaches of the contract throughout the time until we interrupted it. It was awful.
We’ve been advised to try with them. Unfortunately, we didn’t check with that agency. We lost some money because of our precipitate decision.
It wasn’t a reason to be disappointed with other options. I was sure Ukraine could give us what we were looking for. I heard much good recommendations regarding Ukraine.
We have signed up the contract with another clinic in that country. It was out little break through. We understood we had wasted much time.
After my hysterectomy I was frustrated. It was unable to do anything further. You know how it’s tough for young woman to live through it.
My husband was always beside me. It wasn’t easy for him to take it. I was proud of him and I’m still proud.
Seemed I was falling into madness. He understood how it was serious. He could lose his wife.
He was really losing. I can’t describe my state. It was easier to kill me than to understand what I was doing.
Honestly, I know only one thing for sure. He loved me and still loves. There were some episodes when he had got doubt.
I saw it! He left home for a few hours. He got normalized with his thoughts and went on.
I was really afraid he would start drinking. He didn’t surrender in front of difficulties. I appreciate his patience most of all.
We got confused after our unsuccessful attempt. We wanted to find a new place immediately. However, it was a really complicated task.
We looked for such a place in the US and Georgia. We even called one agency in South Africa. We contacted clinics in CR and Russia.
We even visited clinic in Greece. That one was the most favorable in comparison with others. In fact, it just seemed to be.
After long-lasting investigation, we stopped research in Ukraine again. Money meant a lot. Whatever you’ll say money does mean a lot.
Ukraine attracted our attention not only because of price policy. Of course, comparing it to US agencies you’ll save much money after all. Anyway Ukraine has much else to draw your attention.
I felt better. My depression stole more than year. We tried to forget all related to this episode in our life. It was painful, sorrowful, and we didn’t intend focusing on bad things.
New clinic gave us a hope. We loved the way our manager used to treat her clients. It’s less about professionalism.
It’s more likely about the best expression of hospitality we’ve ever seen. She was lovely. Other people were also kind to us.
There were a couple of contract types. I mean they had more but only couple of them was suitable for us. I like the offer regarding donor selection.
I was looking forward to seeing the base to choose. I wasn’t disappointed. The base was a place where anyone could find the best.
It was many months ago. I’m posting here because (according to expectation) our surrogate must give birth in one week. I guess everything is going to be all right.
It was a soft, smooth, calm, quiet pregnancy. I don’t know the adjective to describe. I’m very nervous because of coming event.
Pregnancy was going without problems indeed. Our surrogate is a great one. She’s done it as a maven.

Honestly, I didn’t see my surrogate in person. I sadly admit it. We didn’t have an opportunity to meet her.
We had a skype call few times. She was looking very lovely. It was necessary to have skype calls.
We couldn’t wait for more. We spoke with help of our clinic’s interpreter. It was okay, I felt huge gratitude.
We prepared some gifts for our SM. I hope she’ll like them. I actually can’t expect for our friendship.
It’s her personal business. We don’t want fringing her own privacy. It’ll not be cool at all.
If she minds to have communication after our treatment, I’ll take in for granted. It’s her right. No one should force her.
As well we didn’t choose our surrogate. We’ve been told it’s a regular practice. The leading doctor choses and approves surrogates.
I couldn’t get okay with it. I thought the IPs should choose who will carry their baby. But anyway I trusted my doctor.
Now I’m very anxious. I can’t get peace. New heavy thoughts come like new wave over and over.
We are already in Ukraine. Now we don’t walk along the city. Our mood doesn’t allow us feeling good enough for taking some walk.
It is a very nervous and decisive stage. I pray to God and can’t think about anything else. You understand me.
I’m open to share details regarding Ukraine. Who is interested in that, please, feel free to ask. I’m here for that.
I don’t even know how to tittle the story. I don’t know how to finish this post. Should it be a question or that’s enough.
I even don’t know what to do now. I’m afraid my tension can get higher. I’m feeling very excited.
I won’t get upset if you consider my post too long to read. I’ll be okay even without your answers. I just want to hope all will be excellent guys.