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Post by sunnygirl on Aug 17, 2017 18:41:46 GMT
Hi, everyone! Here is my problem, hope you can advice. I'm now performing the role of a surrogate mother. I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I'm not in my city at the moment, but I live in the city where the embryo was being injected. I communicate with genetic parents very often, they visit me every other day. I live separately from them, in an apartment where another surrogate mother also lives. She does not communicate with genetic parents at all, the company which we are working for is responsible for us. They constantly control us, what we are eating and etc...They visit us once a week. The matter is that the genetic mother has tortured me completely. She constantly calls, even at night! If I sleep during the day and do not answer her call, she can come and knock on the door! She does not let me go anywhere, I do not see the city I'm in. I would like to walk, but I'm afraid! She told me to stay at home or walk around the house. How can I explain her that I am an adult woman and I can protect myself?
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Post by lolita on Aug 17, 2017 19:06:15 GMT
You had to sign the contract. Everything should be agreed there. Genetic parents should follow the terms. Contact your company. Tell them that the genetic mother is torturing you. I believe they can talk to her. All doctors prescribe pregnant women to walk, breathe fresh air. You are not a slave.
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Post by luckymom on Aug 17, 2017 19:23:17 GMT
You are doing a really good job! Helping infertile couple - that's great! You just have to be less nervous. Women can easily adapt to each other. So if you are nervous, your genetic mother also becomes nervous. You should keep calm and your employer will also reduce the tone. Try to talk to her husband. I believe he can help.
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Post by sunnygirl on Aug 17, 2017 19:43:21 GMT
Thank you, luckymom
Regarding the company - I already talked to them. They said that they can not forbid her visiting me. But they will try to ask her stop bothering me that often, as it is not safe for the baby's health. I'm just afraid to talk to her. She wanted to have children for a long time, a woman is already old enough. She cries all the time and wants to take me to her house. She knows how to influence me. I don't know why, but after talking to her, I always agree to do whatever she wants. Sounds like magic, I know)) But it's true! I don't wanna move to her house, and I will not do it!
Her husband isn't interested in this situation at all. He doesn't understand neither me nor his wife. I believe he just doesn't care about his future baby(( I will try to keep calm, because I want this baby to be born strong and healthy. Sometimes she takes me to some parks and other places. I will ask her to do it more often.
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Post by katy2017 on Aug 17, 2017 19:57:51 GMT
I used to be a surrogate mother 4 years ago. The clinic I was working for was called biotexcom.com. They were taking really great care of me during all period of pregnancy. I was talking to genetic parents through the clinic's representative. He was helping me with tests, payments, food and etc... Sometimes genetic mother was visiting me alone or with her husband...It was really cute...We were drinking tea and they were touching my pregnant stomach)) Thanks God they didn't want me to live in their house. That sounds really strange. You are a free person, you can live wherever you want. And for sure, you have a contract. You and genetic parents should follow all the terms carefully. The fine can be huge if you break some terms.
Try to explain the genetic mother that you want their baby to be born healthy. You will take a good care of your health. And anyway you need to walk a lot!
Wait a little)) You are almost done! Good luck to you, girl)
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Post by sunnygirl on Aug 17, 2017 20:01:43 GMT
Thank you, girls! I believe I can do it)) Feeling much better now!
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Post by kate453 on Aug 20, 2017 17:21:38 GMT
Hi, I am glad that you are feeling better now. Isn't it amazing how sharing your experience on this forum can get so many different women to help you with suggestions and show love and support. Thank you so much for being a surrogate mother. You are doing a great job and making someone's dream come true. I have been blessed with kids through surrogacy and I am very thankful to the surrogate mother, and the clinic for the support. And I can understand, why that lady may be reacting the way she is. I am sure, she doesn't intend to bother you, or she may even not know that she is doing something that would bother you. It is just the excitement of being a mother. Thank you so much for being so kind and understanding her. I know it might seem a little difficult to deal with someone who keeps calling you at night and expect you to answer every time they call you. But, what you are doing is really great and believe me, it is going to change her life forever. I wish you all the best and wish the baby is born all healthy and bouncy  |
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Post by stacy1246 on Aug 23, 2017 7:27:44 GMT
Hi dear. I can understand your current situation very well and like to suggest the meaningful and beneficial things. According to the agreement you need to conceive the baby only. You have the proper right and liberty to live a life in your own way. You are not bound to anyone and have the right to live life. It is not a sin to become a surrogate woman. You are doing well and welfare for other. If any genetic parents tortured you then you need to take the action and fight against them. It is the right time to report about them until it get too late. You need to understand that the world is not the same as you think. Not everyone has the heart like yours. You need to raise your action and voice to fight against the genetic parents who are trying to make your life worse. If you take the action then surely you can go out anywhere and enjoy your liberty.
For the surrogate mother, it is very important to maintain the diet and eat the high nutrients diets. It keeps your mind positive and you will be able to fight for your right. It is not delay till now; you need to raise your voice and report about the genetic parents who kept the eyes on you. You can show how much you can survive and you are not bound to anyone. It only wants to say you have equal rights like other and so you are pregnant you need to take care of your health properly. Morning walk is very important and you should go out for maintaining the health. I wish you all the best and hope you would like my suggestion.
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Post by pagerelvia33 on Jan 25, 2019 7:57:05 GMT
I do not agree about giving surrogates space as the reasoning behind the lack of disclosure. I think it is very important to form a connection with your surrogate mother prior to everything. Especially when you have no control over choosing the right person. for example, many of the clinics and agencies choose to not let you meet with your surrogate up till some point of her pregnancy. I do not think that it is right.
for example, we've signed with World Center of baby (https://worldcenterofbaby.com) and they are doing their part. They allow meeting an sm right when she signs her contract. Or this is what I got. anyways, we're going to meet the woman who's going to be carrying a child for us in a few months. And it is only fair because it is stressful enough, to begin with. Surrogacy using donor's eggs. So I do not know. It is just my opinion.
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Post by myraward on Feb 4, 2019 4:34:59 GMT
Hi there! That's why it's important to opt for a good clinic. The clinic where I had my treatment took care of everything for me. I had nothing to worry about. My surrogate was such a wonderful person. Tell your clinic to take some action against her. That is not acceptable.
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Post by mandy5238678 on Mar 15, 2019 9:13:44 GMT
well, that does not sound like something I would do. ut as a fellow IP I get where she is coming from. Although, I do not condone her actions at all. I feel like a surrogate needs to feel comfortable every single day. And by controlling her every single step the IP risks her health and the health of the baby. You never know what can happen
We will be trying to stay in touch with our carrier if she wants to. But we do trust WCOB as our agency.
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Post by emiliajoe on Apr 16, 2019 15:36:15 GMT
Hey. Hope you are well. I'm so sorry to hear that you have been treated this way. Sometimes some IPs can be too obsessive about such things. They are just concerned, you know? I understand you need your space. You should talk to them about it. Be open. Communication is key. I'm sure they will understand.
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Post by monikaa on Aug 8, 2019 23:51:02 GMT
Firstly, more power to you for becoming a surrogate mother. The thing with IP is that they are very concerned about the baby. It is because they have never had a baby since the day they started trying. Therefore, they do tend to behave this way. I would suggest you talk to the father. Tell him about the situation and that you want some space. If they don't listen contact the clinic and let them know. Tell them that the stress they are giving you is not good for the baby.
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Post by hannah on Sept 24, 2019 16:57:48 GMT
I myself am an IP however, I think they are being a little unfair on their part. I mean I myself am very excited about the whole journey. However, I think it is really important that we give the surrogates space. I mostly ask the clinic for the updates. Mainly, because they know more about her in terms of how she is doing. The clinic also sends us ultrasound pictures. I would suggest you talk to them about this and make things clear. I hope things get easier.
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